The Animated Misadventures of Johnny Trakker
by Lucillia
Summary: Bester gets the first season of the latest incarnation of his favorite show from childhood and isn't pleased. Follow John Trakker as he dies at the hands of Heng again and again. Several Crossovers.
1. From Babylon 5 Studios

Disclaimer: Babylon 5 belongs to whoever it belongs to. Not me.

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Dear PsiCorps Vid Distribution,

I was wondering if I could get permission to use the names and likenesses of two of the characters of your John Trakker vids, namely John Tracker and his partner/sidekick Heng in a set of animated vids I have planned out.

J. Smith

Smith Entertainment.

Babylon 5

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Dear Mr. Smith,

We will allow you to use the characters you requested under the following conditions.

1. That we be allowed to view each vid and make editing suggestions before its release to the general public.

2. That all Psi Corps characters be shown to be competent, and that all rogue telepaths introduced in the series be caught before its end.

3. That none of the vids be released at a time when they will be directly in competition with the John Trakker 75th Anniversary Special and Vid Marathon that's coming up in a few years.

Thank you for your interest.

Sally Logan

PsiCorps Public relations,

Vid Productions and Distribution.

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Bester barely managed to hide his smile as he headed back to his quarters at the PsiCorps facility on Mars. Being the best Psi Cop ever had some of its perks, and getting ahold of the first season of the new John Trakker series before Public Relations got its grubby little paws on it was one of them. Soon he would be watching his childhood hero in action once more.

Bester prepared a large bowl of popcorn the instant he got into his quarters. This time he would have it all to himself instead of having to share it with about a dozen other brats. Every week, without fail, that jerk Brett would sneeze in it before it got to him. Brett was dead now, so it didn't matter. Bester turned on his comm/vid system and entered the data crystal into its slot. A moment later the credits came up, and then the title.....

THE ANIMATED MISADVENTURES OF JOHNNY TRAKKER

.....He should've known than nothing good ever came from Babylon 5


	2. Johnny gets Leaped

Episode 1, Johnny Gets Leaped:

Johnny Trakker walked into his spacious quarters at the North American Teeptown and set his latest award on his desk. He was the best Psi Cop in the universe and everyone knew it. This time he'd captured about a hundred rogue telepaths singlehandedly in one week. After an hour long soak in the hot tub he had recently acquired, he headed to his cozy bed and his identical twin girlfriends.

Heng walked into his cramped shared quarters in the singles dorm. Once again, he did all of the work and Johnny took all of the credit. One of these days he'd get some recognition. On of these days...

Sam Beckett found himself in a bed in an unfamiliar room. He looked left. There was another bed in the room and a very annoyed looking person on it.

_Heng, couldn't you have waited until later in the week to go crazy, I'm trying to sleep._

The words hadn't been spoken, they had just appeared in his head out of nowhere. Beckett wondered where the hell he ended up this time. He jumped out of bed and tried to find a mirror so he could see who he was now. He found the mirror he was searching for in a strange bathroom. He was apparently a very skinny, almost starved looking in fact, man of mixed European and Asian descent in bright orange and red striped pyjamas.

His best friend Al appeared to him as he always did. Hopefully the puzzle of why he was here would be solved momentarily.

"Sam, you're not going to believe this." Al said " But you're in the future. Not only that, but you're in another universe."

"So Al, what exactly am I supposed to be doing here?" Beckett asked as several people poked their heads out of their rooms, looked at him, shrugged and walked back inside.

"I don't know, probably trying to help this poor slob get his life together. Anyone who has to share a room at that age is most likely in pretty bad shape." Al said before he disappeared.

Beckett walked back into the room his host occupied and decided to get dressed. He started rooting through one of the closets.

_Get your paws off my stuff Heng. _Said the mysterious voice that had come from nowhere. Beckett promptly backed away from the closet and headed to the other one.

The contents of the closet appeared to be pyjamas in extraordinarily garish colors and three black uniforms. One dress, and two normal. Apparently his host was in some sort of military. Beckett grabbed one of the normal uniforms and put it on. Hopefully this trip came with breakfast, because he was starved. Beckett headed out of the room and down the hall.

_You forgot your badge and gloves Heng. _The mysterious voice from nowhere said as his host's roommate smacked him over the head with a pair of gloves. Beckett put on the badge and gloves. His host's roomate looked at him, shook his head, sighed, and the mysterious voice from nowhere said _The badge goes on the other side._

Beckett wandered around until he found a room where people were eating. Every person in the room was eating in complete silence. At one end of the room there was a chow line where people were putting food on their trays. He had finally found breakfast. Beckett raced over, grabbed a tray, piled it high with bacon eggs and some red stuff that looked like pudding with bits of jello stuck in it. He headed over to one of the tables and started chowing down. After his third bite, Beckett started hearing voices. Great, apparently his host was Schizophrenic and he was getting to experience the symptoms.

_What's up with Heng today, I thought he was a vegetarian. _One voice said.

_Someone replaced his entire personality last night, He thinks he's someone called Sam Beckett. _The voice Beckett had been hearing earlier responded.

_Don't you think we should call him in sick? _A third voice asked.

_No point, the only time the great Johnny Trakker is going to give Heng a sick day is when he's six feet under. _The second voice, which was the first voice he had heard in this place, responded.

_Yeah there's that, and maybe if we're really lucky Heng will have gone crazy enough to finally put Johnny out of our misery. _The third voice replied.

Beckett had only finished about a quarter of his breakfast when someone who looked like a blonde superman without the spandex suit walked in and grabbed Beckett by the collar.

_No time for breakfast, we have a lot of work to do. _A new voice said as Beckett was dragged away from the best breakfast he'd had in years.

Beckett suddenly realized what he had to do. The voices had even told him to do it. Beckett pulled out the strange weapon he had found in the closet earlier and fired it at this person who was apparently ruining Heng's life. There was a strange noise as something came out of the end of it and hit the man. Beckett aimed for the man who was now on the floor and pulled the trigger again, and again until the weapon stopped firing.

Beckett stared at the corpse on the floor as several of his breakfast companions cautiously walked up to him and gently led him away.

There was a flash, and Beckett suddenly found himself in a motel bathroom. He looked at the mirror. He was a blonde woman wearing a skimpy black lace thing that barely qualified as clothing and holding a video camera. The only thing he could think of saying was: "Oh Boy."

Meanwhile, back at Psi Corps:

Heng woke up in the medical wing. He wondered what had happened to get him here once again. He always ended up here without knowing why or how.

_Glad to see you're back with us Heng _Captain Brown, who had apparently been waiting by his bed for quite a while, sent.

_I am too. What happened? _Heng sent back.

_Apparently Trakker has been taking all of the credit for your hard work all of these years as part of an evil plot to destroy PsiCorps from within by encouraging the children to take performance enhancing steroids. When you tried to come to us with the proof, he replaced your personality with that of someone from a Science Fiction t.v. show from the twentieth century. You've had it hard son, and we want you to rest here for a while. _Captain Brown sent as he headed towards the door with a sad, almost pitying look on his face.

_Performance enhancing steroids? _Heng's former roommate Richardson sent to the Captain as they headed down the hall and out of the secure section of the psychiatric wing of the Psi Corps North American Medical Facility.

_It was the best I could come up with on short notice. _Captain Brown sent back.


End file.
